It was difficult to write this post. In the last few days I am under influence of different and contradictory feelings. Anger, fear, impotence, gratitude, concern, hatred, intolerance. All of them are present. Anger due to the fact that such an event occurred and that the authorities haven’t prevent it. Fear, that such an event will happen again. Impotence, as I know that I can’t do anything to prevent such things. Gratitude, that I am currently not in Brussels and I am safe and gratitude towards those who thought about me and called or sent me a message to see if I am all right. Hatred towards those who did this. And finally I am also intolerant towards those who permit such facts.
However, I am not surprised. To be honest, I was expecting such an event. Especially after last November’s events. In any case I wasn’t expected that the attacks will occur on these locations. Schuman’s metro station, just under the Commission and the main train station seemed more important and symbolic.
In any case, the life in Brussels will continue. Mine too. After the Easter holidays I am coming back. Somewhere in my head I am repeating to myself that my habits won’t change. However, I know that fear and mistrust will be living in my subconscious. Even more from now on. When I will take the metro, specially at the beginning, I will be nervous and will check everyone who will board the train. “What is he having in the backpack?” “Why is she being so strange?” This and similar questions will go around my head.
Despite this, I won’t blame a specific religious or national group for this events. The only culprits are those who in their heads think that by killing someone they are achieving a high goal and that these actions will bring them to eternal life. Well, I hope that this eternal life will be even more miserable and worthless of the one they are leaving behind them.